Susan Cain, known for writing Quiet: the Power of Introverts, recently published Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make us Whole. In a podcast interview about this topic, Susan discussed the important role deep spiritual longing and sadness can play in our lives in helping us become spiritually attuned. She says,
“Gregory the Great…talked about his feeling of compunctio, and he called it 'the holy tears'...The holy tears are described as a feeling of bitter sweetness because you see the difference between the world that you long for, the divine, and the world in which you find yourself currently, and so there is something about the recognition of that gap that is said to bring you ever closer to the divine. And you see this in all the traditions. If you think about it, there’s the longing for the garden of Eden. There’s the longing for Zion. In the Sufi tradition, which is the mystical side of Islam, there’s the longing for the beloved of the soul, which is the way Sufis sometimes talk about God. And then there’s the poet,…Rumi, he is a 12th century Sufi poet...The essence of his teaching…is that the longing that you express for God is the return message from God. He’s got this amazing poem called 'Love Dogs,' and he’s describing a man who is praying to God, and then a cynic comes along and observes this, and says to him, 'Why are you bothering to do this? Do you ever get an answer back?' And the guy says, 'No, I actually never did,' and he’s very disturbed by this. That night, he falls into a fitful sleep, and he has a dream in which he’s visited by Khidr, who is the guide of souls. And Khidr asks him why he stopped praying, and the man explains why, and what Khidr says to him is…'This longing you express is the return message. The grief you cry out from draws you toward union. Your pure sadness that wants help is the secret cup.' So longing is the essence of what brings up closer, not what fails to appreciate God.”
Whatever our beliefs, getting in touch with our own deep senses of longing, including compassionate feelings or desires for a better world or transcendent experiences, can be an expansive and healing experience. For some, it is an experience communing with the divine or reaching deeply within our inner selves. It can also be an experience of grief, joy, love, or transcendence. Longing raises worthwhile questions about what it means to be human, such as How and why is it humans have capacities for such strong desires for a different kind of world and relationships than what I have known? or Where does my spiritual longing come from and what purpose does it serve? Setting aside time to cultivate awareness of longing though prayer, journaling, meditation, or mindful nature walks can be an important way to tend to our spiritual needs and come to know our spiritual selves. Longing can help us identify the purposes we find and create in our lives, strengthen our relationships with the divine, and help us determine the values we want to live by.
What to read next:
