Now I’m even more attracted to the COVID vaccines than I used to be! That’s because I recently learned that they do not only equip us with antibodies against the virus, they also make our bodies magnetic! And we know that magnets can heal, don’t we? So now we should see massive healing of all sorts of diseases as the newly magnetized COVID vaccine recipients spread across the globe.
How do we know that vaccines convert us into living magnets? Because osteopathic physician Dr. Sherri Tenpenny and her disciples tell us so. They don’t only say so, they demonstrate how coins and other assorted paraphernalia stick to their bodies after they received the jab. And this is not because of their attractive personalities. It is due to those nasty microchips that Bill Gates has engineered into the vaccine to make us all pawns in some massive wireless chess game. Needless to say, these microchips communicate with 5G cell towers and not to our advantage.
Tenpenny, drenched in such conspiracy theories, has long been a pain in the butt of science. For some inexplicable reason, she was asked to “testify” in front of the Ohio state legislature about the dangers of vaccines and after edifying the audience about the lethality of the vaccines, this sage, this great protector of civilization, described how vaccinated people can “stick a key on their forehead or spoons and forks all over and they can stick because now we think there is a metal piece to that.” Proof? What more does one need than some picture with a coin or fridge magnet sticking to a vaccinated arm? Or a live demonstration of a woman attempting, more or less unsuccessfully, to stick a key to her neck? Maybe she should have tried sticking it somewhere else.
But what about those pictures with coins and other metallic objects glued to people’s bodies after being vaccinated? Nothing new about such pictures, they have long been around to “prove” the existence of “human magnets,” people who can stick silverware, mirrors, and even hammers to their bodies. Obviously, such photos can be readily faked, but some are actually authentic. How so? Think what happens when you cut a raw potato with a knife. Pretty hard to unstick it! That’s because when two smooth surfaces are brought together there is an attraction between them due to Van der Waals forces, as any student who has taken introductory chemistry can tell you. Without going into painful detail, it will suffice to say that these are attractive forces that arise because of dipoles induced when the electron clouds on the two surfaces interact. The positive part of a dipole on one surface is attracted to the negative end of a dipole on the other. This also explains why flies can walk on ceilings.
When a very smooth object, such as cutlery, is applied to very smooth skin, Van der Waals forces can “bond” it to the body, especially if there is a bit of oil or moisture present since both of these can engage in Van der Waals bonding. Impressive, as long as the “magnetic” people do not bend forward too much allowing gravity to take over and ruin the fun. James Randi, the recently departed scourge of charlatans, once had a great expose on TV of a man who claimed that his body was magnetic. Indeed, he managed to stick a variety of objects to his smooth, hairless chest. Until Randi asked him to dust his chest with a little talcum powder. Presto! The “magnetism” vanished.
Suppose we buy into the absurd notion that vaccines somehow make us magnetic. Why would that be such a horror? My files are filled with all sorts of articles about the healing power of magnets! Over the years I have collected magnetic insoles, necklaces, magnetized patches and even mugs that are supposed to convert any beverage into a wondrous healing potion by magnetizing it. I even have underwear with a strategically built-in magnet that is supposed to…well, you can guess what it is supposed to do. It doesn’t.
So, I would give a penny, maybe even ten, for Dr. Tenpenny’s thoughts about why the magnetization of the body should be so terrible especially given that alternative practitioners, whom she obviously holds in high regard, believe that magnetism heals.
Of course, the idea that the COVID vaccines contain some material that when injected causes this remarkable magnetizing effect is pure gobbledygook. These vaccines contain no paramagnetic material, and even if they did, there would not be enough in the tiny amount of material injected to create a detectable magnetic field. We already have a significant amount of iron in our body, roughly 3.5 grams, and we don’t feel any attraction when we encounter even an extremely powerful magnet. Our liver, loaded with iron, isn’t ripped out of our body when we get an MRI scan, is it? And people who get iron injections or take iron supplements, which do contain ferrous or ferric ions that are paramagnetic, do not become magnetized.
But who am I to argue with the scientific wisdom of Dr. Tenpenny? Since I just got my second shot, I was in a prime position to experiment. And the results are remarkable. Not only did I become a magnet for metallic objects, but incredibly, for plastics as well! And I have the pictures to prove it.
Seeing is believing, right?