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Bereavement and Grief: A Guide for Academic Staff

Grief is a normal reaction to loss, and something that each of us is likely to experience multiple times in our lives. How and what we grieve is personal and differs for everyone, but grief’s impacts are often protracted and profound, and not easily or neatly separated from our work lives.

This website was developed within the OPVPA in conversation with faculty members and academic administrators who have experienced a death-related loss while working at McGill and who accepted an invitation to come together to identify approaches and resources that can better support those navigating grief and bereavement. Paramount for us was to ensure that what we developed was tailored to the particularities of grieving for academics, who were likely to have significant responsibilities related to teaching, research, and service.

For more information or if you have questions, please email our grief.liaison [at] mcgill.ca (Faculty Liaisons) for Academic Staff Living with Grief and Bereavement.

Information about grief and loss

The need for us as a community to deepen our awareness and understanding of the experience and impact of grief was a recurring thread in our discussions. Themes that emerged that find support in the literature include:

  • Grief is a broad phenomenon that arises due to death of a significant person in our life.
  • Grief may be experienced differently depending on circumstances that lead to the loss. Whether the loss was gradual, following a period of caregiving, or sudden, does not necessarily mean it is harder or easier, but needs related to work could differ.
  • There can be additional barriers to healing from grief when a loss has occurred from violent events, connects to stigmatized social phenomenon (e.g., suicide, overdose, etc.), or when grieving a difficult or conflicted relationship.
  • Grief impacts the brain both in the immediate aftermath of loss and over the longer term, including through but not limited to the disruption of memory, attention, executive function, and the speed of information processing. This needs to be considered in evaluating expectations and ensuring adequate support. See here for more information.
  • Talking about grief in professional settings might be perceived by some as taboo. This can challenge the way support is offered/or sought in two important ways. First, colleagues might not feel at ease checking in on someone who has experienced a loss, fearing that this might upset them or that such an approach might be viewed as intrusive. Second, the colleague who is navigating grief might feel compelled to refrain from talking about what they are experiencing in the workplace. The outcome can be extremely difficult for the colleague who is grieving, causing them to feel invisible and isolated, which can add to their existing sense of loss.

 

Understanding grief’s timeline:

Feelings of loss and grief may begin to emerge even before someone dies as in the case of caring for someone with failing health.

Feelings can intensify or diminish immediately following a death or even long after a death has occurred. In all cases we might expect a long-term impact on productivity. But the impact may set in at different times for different people (someone may plow through work in the immediate aftermath of a death-related loss but then begin to feel the impact of the loss six months to one year later when the reality has set in and when some of the task related issues have been completed).

Anniversaries, birthdays, and other reminders may cause grief related emotions to resurface. Planning and accommodating for this could be a useful strategy (decline work related meetings; plan a day of self-care).

 

 

Six jars illustrating how we grow around our grief

 

 

 

 

Grief is individual: not everyone reacts the same way or experiences the same needs. Persons experiencing grief need to be listened to and respected in their grieving process. Colleagues and leaders should check in while respecting privacy and desires from the person experiencing grief to share their feelings or not.

Resources for the person experiencing grief

At this difficult time, we hope that we can provide you with some information that will allow you to feel supported.

Counseling is available through the Employee and Family Assistance Program (EFAP) and/or through coverage provided for psychological services under the McGill Supplemental Health Plan (up to 2000$ per year at 80% coverage for recognized practitioners).

Bereavement leave : a certain number of days off (up to 6) are provided to a staff member experiencing the losses listed in the Social Leave Policy, section 4.1. While in some cases the allocation may be sufficient, in many cases it will not be, and should be considered in combination with other measures.

Short term disability can be appropriate; a person who goes on short-term disability leave can obtain a progressive return to work (may be better to use official leave to ensure the progressive return is respected). A medical note will be required but can be shared exclusively with an HR representative or Disability Management Advisor (it does not have to be submitted to your chair or director) and where a leave is approved, it provides for the continuation of 100% of regular salary for a period of up to six months.

Consider the option of a reduced load appointment or phased retirement, when appropriate for your stage of career being mindful of the negative correlated impact on compensation.

When you come back to work, you may wish to discuss your needs for accommodation and flexibility with your chair/director. Consider the elements of the work that cause most strain and whether you would like to have an open discussion with your chair on how you may have some relief from, or defer, certain duties.

Elements to consider:

  • Reduction of teaching or co-teaching or occasional remote teaching
  • Lab concerns (who takes over, need consultation)
  • Reduction of service (some committees that represent more of a burden)

It may be helpful to provide a brief explanation of the impact of your grief on productivity in future activity reports so that this can be understood as an extenuating circumstance in assessing your academic performance.

Be kind to yourself and accept that you may need help; lean into the support offered and accept that work and personal life are more difficult to keep neatly separated when grieving. You may observe that you have behavioural changes, you become short-tempered, etc. You may need to book yourself “time outs”, “breaks”, “walks” when you come back to work even on busy days.

    Resources for academic leaders

    Given that grief is unpredictable and can have an impact on decision making and focus, and that speaking about loss and grief is not the norm and may inhibit colleagues from reaching out, it is incumbent on Academic leaders supporting a staff member experiencing grief to adopt a mindset whereby it is understood the leader will actively engage with the staff member about the reassignment of work. This means thinking about the grieving person as potentially unavailable for contingency planning and immediate work obligations. Specifically, academic leaders should be prepared—and offer:

    • to reallocate all duties, especially finding replacements for course teaching (rather than expecting the staff member experiencing grief to “figure it out”)
    • to offer proactive support with any required official leave process, etc.; finally,
    • they should be agile and get organized quickly as death can be sudden. Avoid overwhelming the grieving colleague with multiple emails but be efficient and brief when their input is required, especially in the early moments.

    Academic leaders are encouraged to consult with Professor angela.campbell [at] mcgill.ca (Angela Campbell), Associate Provost (Equity and Academic Policies); for any help you may need to put in place the measures described above.

    Other elements to consider include:

    Making sure staff know that they can get counseling/professional support through the Employee and Family Assistance Program (EFAP) and/or use coverage provided for psychological services under the McGill Supplemental Health Plan (up to 2000$ per year at 80% coverage for recognized practitioners).

    Bereavement leave : a certain number of days off (up to 6) are provided to a staff member experiencing the losses listed in the Social Leave Policy, section 4.1. While in some cases the allocation may be sufficient, in many cases it will not be, and should be considered in combination with other measures.

    Short term disability can be appropriate for a staff member in some cases. These leaves are overseen by Human Resources, although a Chair can play a key role in supporting the process for seeking out this type of leave. A person who goes on short-term disability leave can obtain a progressive return to work (maybe better to use official leave to ensure the progressive return is respected), and where a leave is approved, it provides for the continuation of 100% of regular salary for a period of up to six months.

    Consider the option of a reduced load appointment or phased retirement, when appropriate for the stage of career of the staff member, remaining mindful of the negative correlated impact on compensation.

    Consider the effects of grief on a staff member’s career and plan to support the staff member during these periods:

    • before tenure
    • progression to promotion to full professor
    • broadly speaking, on productivity (delayed publications/impact can be seen on activity reports two to three years down the road) and academic salary policy and assessment for the purposes of merit.

    When the colleague is fully back to work, the academic leader should strive to develop creative solutions to support the colleague in consultation with them (do not assume their need). They should strive to achieve fair and principled outcomes, not necessarily equal treatment and accommodation. The following are important elements for consideration:

    • need for flexibility and creativity; reducing teaching, providing a tailored approach based on the needs of the person, (e.g., some may need to travel internationally, some may be experiencing a loss that is more disruptive, e.g., losing a spouse who was taking care of children, etc.).
    • the possibility of reducing service for a period;
    • consider that religious observance may differ by person and require accommodation.
    • the possibility of reducing or relief from teaching for a period and/or the possibility of co-teaching, or occasional remote teaching within University-prescribed parameters;
    • the availability of the Central Accommodation Fund as a source of funding for hiring course lecturer or back-end support to sustain research activity (e.g., lab support).

    Understand that grief is individual, and official bereavement policies within organizations are typically limited to certain relationships. Grief can, however, occur in non-traditional relationships and leaders can be flexible in how they reorganize duties for staff member experiencing grief that is often less acknowledged.

    A person who is grieving may be experiencing behavioural changes, become short-tempered, more irritable, etc. As a leader you need to be compassionate, provide help, while ensuring the environment remains conducive to learning and working.

    Leaders can also model self-care: if you experience a loss, you too may need to seek support and take time to grieve, and by doing so, you demonstrate that it is okay to do so.

    Most academics build a career at McGill, and are colleagues for decades. This is a great opportunity to reinforce and cherish a culture of collegiality wherein we support others in our workplace, knowing that we may also need like support one day.

    To break the silence, ask the grieving staff person for permission to send out communication to colleagues about the loss and what they would like it to communicate. Consider attending the funeral service/celebration of life or organizing a few colleagues to attend to support your colleague, provided that the staff member is comfortable with it. Consider organizing collection for providing care baskets and/or sending a sympathy card.

    When the person who passed is also a staff member or is emeritus:

    • Ensure proper acknowledgment of the person’s passing (could be in the form of a ceremony / get together to mourn and celebrate the colleague / moment of silence and remembrance at a Faculty event);
    • Consider that colleagues (academic and admin and support staff) as well as students are also grieving
    • Consider a group counseling session for colleagues, if appropriate.
    • Ensure someone is charged with retrieving the personal effects, books, and other items that will be sent to the family.
    • Connect with Secretariat in order to honour the person by lowering the flag.

    Resources for colleagues of those experiencing grief

    Consider checking in regularly with your colleague, ensuring that you listen to and follow their needs rather than making assumptions about what they are experiencing. Some may need to discuss, and vent, seek advice and will want to share, while others will prefer not to bring these emotions to work. Be present and available without imposing yourself.

    One framework that some might find helpful when considering how to support a colleague is proposed in How not to say the wrong thing using a “ring theory”:

    Concentric circles with the grieving person represented at the center

    At the center of the ring is the person affected, successive rings are people from closest to furthest from the affected person (e.g. grieving person, their spouse and children, their close friends, their colleagues and so on). The rule is that whenever you speak with someone who is situated closer to the center, you seek to provide comfort and to listen to their needs. If you feel the need to vent and express your own emotions regarding the situation, you express it to someone who is further away than yourself from the center. This is relevant for grieving persons but also coworkers who may be sick or undergoing any number of other difficult challenges.

     

     

     

     

    A culture of collegiality means that colleagues support each other in moments of need by taking on some of the duties of a colleague (“picking up the slack”) and feel confident that others will do the same for them should they need the same support in the future.

    Making sure the colleague knows they can get counseling through the Employee and Family Assistance Program (EFAP) and/or use coverage provided for psychological services under the McGill Supplemental Health Plan (up to 2000$ per year at 80% coverage for recognized practitioners).

    If appropriate, consider attending the funeral service to show support, provided that the colleague is comfortable with it. Consider organizing collection for providing care baskets.

    If the person who passed is also a staff member or is emeritus, you can remind the academic leader to connect with Secretariat to honour the colleague by lowering the University flag.

    Helpful references and further readings

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